Plant Allies for the Winter Holidays

There are so many ways that we can support ourselves and our beloved community during the winter holidays. From preparing our home apothecaries with remedies for the season or practicing winter rituals to help us settle into the darkest days of the year, we have tools both well-worn by generations as well as ones newly imagined that can help us to thrive.

So much of herbal practice is about practice and preparing - we practice ways of healing that help us feel whole and holy while preparing as best we can for the expected and the unexpected as we move through our lives. During the winter season, and all the fun and busyness and feelings that can come with the holidays, there are all sorts of plant allies to turn to to help us feel steady within ourselves as well as strengthen our immune system, lift our spirits, and weaken the affects of the all too common cold.

For our time together, though, I want to focus on the ways that herbs and flower essences can support our feeling body as we negotiate family dynamics (both biological and chosen), cultural expectations of what we “should” be doing during the holidays, and how we can help joy run through us unhindered as we travel (physically, emotionally, mentally) through the season. 

For my recommendations below, I've focused on the emotional indications of each herb to help you start to figure out what plant ally might best meet your needs. Once you find a plant that resonates with you, or whenever you're considering incorporating a new plant into your routine, you should always work with an herbalist or pull out your favorite materia medicas to reference contraindications and healing guidelines.

image via @sixteenmilesout

Ebbing & Flowing: Plant Allies for the Nervous System

Our nervous systems are precious things, helping to make sure that all of our body systems are functioning well as we navigate our inner and outer environments. Nervines or nervous system tonics are plants that help to nourish and support the work of the nervous system from alleviating stress, promoting energetic adaptability, and bringing in deep states of rest, too. A nervous system plant ally helps us to feel energized when we want to, rest when we need to, and interrupt cycles of stress and anxiety so that we can feel more safe and secure in our bodies.

The following nervines are some of my favorites and they can also be great options for folks who struggle with the change of seasons and the dark half of the year, working as adjunct allies to additional forms of therapeutic and community support. These plants are also some of my favorite nervines for highly sensitive people who feel the world more intensely than their non-highly sensitive peers - a beloved community that I work with often.

Also, if you are subscribed to my newsletter, you can access a free printable chart of nervous system herbs and essences, with their key qualities and indications listed, for quick reference during the busyness of the holidays.

Milky Oat (Avena sativa): If you are unsure of where to start, begin with Milky Oat. My absolute favorite nervous system tonic, Milky Oat has an incredible ability to retrain our nervous system from existing in a highly reactive and overwhelmed state to a state of resilient adaptability and softness. One of the emotional indications for Milky Oat is feeling incapacitated by all of the choices that need to be made, all the interesting things to learn, and all of the expectations of those around us. Milky Oat is also good for folks experiencing exhaustion and struggling to feel rested. If you are are burnt out or are recovering from burnout, Milky Oat can be a great ally to work with. It’s important to work with Milky Oat for an extended period of time (a few months at least) to really appreciate its full affects. Milky Oat is one of the few tinctures I carry with me when traveling (though I like to bring Milky Oat in a tea blend, too) and I always use some before heading out to a big gathering. 

Skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora): One of the classical descriptors for Skullcap in traditional western herbalism is as a remedy for "nervous exhaustion." In more modern terms, nervous exhaustion would be considered a form of burnout, where a person has depleted their energetic and physical resources (i.e. the aftermath of intensive mental processing combined with staying up night after night studying over an extended period of time). Restless, noisy thoughts that prevent someone from falling asleep or at a heightened level of anxious stress throughout the day can be indicators for Skullcap. Sometimes folks try to match the energy of their busy thoughts through busy lives, but that sort of overwork can't be maintained for long. What is so lovely about Skullcap is that the herb helps to slow hurried thoughts without compromising the beauty of the Skullcap mind - one that is able to make connections, find patterns, and delight in diversity. 

Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis): Lemon Balm is one of my favorite herbs for helping us to maintain our sense of self amongst the noise of the collective, helping us to connect with our beloved community instead of feeling isolated. Increasingly, Lemon Balm is the herb that I turn too when a client is struggling with social media scrolling (as well as pointing them in the direction of mental health services is the scrolling is tipping into compulsive and/or addictive behavior). The added benefit of Lemon Balm during the holidays is that it is antiviral and antibacterial, helping to protect us from the collective of germs we may encounter during our travels and at gatherings. Lemon Balm is my favorite ally to call on to support our ability to be in spaces with the cacophony of family noise, from the good and welcoming to the challenging noise, without feeling overwhelmed. 

image via @maemu

Finding Our North Star: Flower Essences for the Winter Holidays

Flower essences are an interesting sort of magick. They function on an energetic level, containing no plant material, yet they are infused with something intangible and useful. They are easy to make and even easier to work with and the process of choosing a flower essence, which asks us to identify our current emotional state, is a healing practice in and of itself. Using flower essences, alongside their affirmation, acts like an guiding light through all sorts of encounters through the holidays and beyond, reminding us of how we are choosing to center ourselves.

Below, I've listed some of my favorite flower essences for social situations and family dynamics. Each description includes a current state of emotional experience followed by a transformed state of emotional being. If you resonate with any of the statements it can be a strong indication that a flower essence is appropriate for you.

I recommend choosing and working with one flower essence at a time, but they can be fun to combine, too. They are an easy sort of plant magick to experiment with as they operate on a solely energetic level without contraindications, so I encourage you to have fun making your own winter holiday potion.

Pine (Pinus sylvestris)
Current State: I feel guilty for burdening others with my sensitivity & asking for accommodations.
Transformed State: I can ask for what I need and know that it is not too much.

There are so many expectations during the winter holidays: friends and family want to gather, activities are planned, sleeping and food arrangements made, and a flurry of emotions can lead us to feeling like we've been swept up into any number of situations we'd rather not be in. Or we just need some simple modifications and accommodations to thrive (i.e. choosing to do one outing a day with family instead of two or more). As an essence, Pine helps us to put our requests into perspective - we are not being unreasonable but are either asking or doing for ourselves what we know will help us show up with greater presence with those around us. Pine helps us to trust in our self-knowing, the skills we've developed and are developing to thrive in our lives, and our confidence to state our needs.

Crab Apple (Malus sylvestris)
Current State: I reject my needs as weaknesses and character faults - I feel ashamed that I have them.
Transformed State: I love who I am and I embrace all of my complexity.

Sometimes when we return home for the holidays or just find ourselves with a busier social calendar than usual, old narratives of how we should act, what we should be doing with our lives, and how we have grown and changed, embracing beautiful parts of ourselves that we may have had to hide away before, make people around us uncomfortable. Crab Apple is an excellent ally for helping to quiet these old stories that we were brought up with and make space for new, more interesting, and more true stories to come forward. Crab Apple often has the ability to awaken the part of us that recognizes that we would never speak to someone else the way we are speaking to ourselves, helping us to recognize the healing therapies, relationships, and communities that revel in our thriving. 

Oak (Quercus robur)
Current State: I push myself even when exhausted.
Transformed State: I have healthy boundaries and know when to stop and rest.

It can be so easy to overdo it during the winter holidays, whether driven by our own fear of missing out or the expectations on our time made by others. Sometimes we do a lot and feel tired, but that's ok because we know we'll have time to rest and recover. But for folks that are in need of Oak, they have a chronic habit of pushing themselves beyond their limits over and over again. They race away from resting and they tumble towards the next state of busyness, often driven by a force that feels beyond their control. Oak helps folks to slow down without inducing feelings of stagnation, to grow sturdy boundaries, and to stretch out of their comfort zone just enough that they can hold a boundary, feel the initial reaction of guilt or fear of missing out, and then move on. 

image via @micheile

A Winter Wellness Practice

While all of us have different healing needs in our lives, the following are my general recommendations for working with nervines and flower essences during the winter holiday season.

Start working with your nervous system plant ally a few weeks before the holidays begin. For me, this looks like a daily tea with a blend of nervines, but many nervines can also be enjoyed as herbal powders, alcohol and glycerin extracts, and as herbal baths. 

During this time period you can also make sure that you have your winter remedies prepared because it feels so much better when you're sick to be able to easily grab a ready made remedy from your cupboard than to have to groggily make one when you're feeling unwell. 

I love working with a flower essence for a full lunar cycle before I know that I have a big gathering or travel happening. Flower essences like having time to stretch out in our systems and by giving ourselves a period of reflection before rushing into the fray can help us find our center faster than if we haven't already been practicing our emotional resilience. But even if you only have a few days or hours before a big winter thing, go ahead and take a few drops of your essence. Be sure to bring whatever flower essences you are working with along with you during your travels and at gatherings.

Alongside plants remedies and flower essences, I practice breathwork, work with my healing team, cast cards, read good books, knit a lot, and spend lots of time outside everyday. These are some of my practices for feeling well, no matter the season, and it’s taken a long while for me to learn to honor the simple things that are far too easy to set aside when I need them most. Take note of the simple ways that you feel good and grounded and allow yourself time and space to practice them.

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Friends, I hope that you’re feeling reminded and inspired to reach for the practices and skills that you know work for you, play around with ones you feel called to try, and seek out the bright moments of the season under the beautiful dark.

As you create your own winter traditions, I also encourage you to dream of ways that your winter can be a healing and joyful one. What would a nourishing, slow-paced, radical-rest-solstice gathering look like with your friends? Or a high energy ritual dance party that involves as much care in raising energy as it does in grounding it? What has been missing from your Solstice celebrations that you want to call in this year?

If you suspect that one of the reasons the winter holidays might be a struggle for you is because you might be more sensitive than your peers (or you work with sensitive people), you might be interested in my Solace: Herbs & Essences for Highly Sensitive People course.

If you're looking for more winter holiday inspiration, I have a no-pressure might-do list for the Winter Solstice season to check out (and for my southern hemisphere friends, here is my might-do list for the Summer Solstice).

Winter is a dreaming time and I hope that you can dream yourself into your community, your world, your lovely life, a little deeper, a little softer, a little freer.

Be well, friends.

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